December 2009
1 post
Back in the saddle
I’m back at a desk, in the corner, working on a project that I thought I’d never see again. I’m glad to be back and certainly mad that I ever left in the first place.
September 2009
1 post
As seen in Severna Park Middle School
“A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history.”
- Mohandas Gandhi
August 2009
15 posts
“God is working behind the scenes in your life today. No matter what you may be...”
– TODAY’S WORD from Joel and Victoria
A Message from Swami
Often the seemingly darkest hour is “just before dawn” as you know.
You will never forsake your chosen path.The intense missing will always draw you back.
Today's Word from Joel
Did you know that fear works just like faith but in the opposite direction? In the same way that faith opens the door for God to work in our lives; fear opens the door for the enemy to work in our lives.
The Bible says that fear has torment. Fear has no mercy. If you act on fear instead of acting on faith, it will keep you depressed, miserable and lonely. And so many people today are missing out...
Old Post - 2008-06-22
Today was the finally rehearsal before next week’s final gig. I realized, while standing with my lonely D, that another church year had passed. I’m among friends and fellow ‘devotees’ that have been around for a long time. It was a nice feeling and one of growing older.
I had to skip out on service, to come back home and do some work, clean up for the kids afternoon...
Old Post - 2008-06-23
I missed church service today, but found myself deep in a reflective mood most of the day. It was a slow Sunday, I’ve got so much work to do, but I just puttered the day away. Mostly finding diversions to fill my mind with thoughts of wanting to “be better” or live again. Divorce has been a terrible experience in some ways. Its not the loss of love, but the loss of what you...
Old Post - 2008-07-10
Today I realized that I don’t want to travel to India. I want to go to Iceland. I dreamed about India for years - had to get there before I was 40, now I’m 45. I’m leaving it alone - its time to dream a new dream. Find a place to take somebody, not by myself. No holy man in Mysore is going to help me more than my front lawn in full bloom. Find a cheap flight - find the kids heavy...
Carlsons Thai Donuts
We went to Carlsons last night for Dar’s birthday. Adam, Sara, Bella, Kim, Gary, Dar and me. Of course we walked out with a dozen and of course we are now on a first name basis with July, the owner, and you have to go into the kitchen to say goodbye. It was great, I’m getting a bit timid on the heat and for the first time in my life asked for something to be ‘mild’...
Wednesday Again
I’ve arrived at this date still in search of many things and understanding my position in many others. It sounds like one side of the coin is telling me that things are going to be great, just hang in there and we are going to work through this together and the other side is bleak with little cause for hope. Granted, that I’ve always been a half empty kind of person my entire life,...
WatchA Rock and Roll Sophomore Effort
Changing my mind
I spent the morning with Harley talking about sofanap and the question about cost recovery. We had a grand time and connected on deep levels. I’m continuing to push the envelope on the code in an effort to build a community portal as well as a demonstration for us to showcase our expertise. All in all - a good meeting - one of these days we’ll see some sheckles for our effort, but...
A Drive by Shooting | Anthony Bourdain →
Reading Anthony Bourdain reminds me of sitting in front of a culinary Hunter S. Thompson. Tony is my hero.
April 2009
1 post
Sitting in the Boston Market - Isabella gig tonight. My Ma and sister Mary with her kids are in town from Jersey. I had to get Bella to the gig - we’ll meet up in a bit. First orange sherbert of the season today!
March 2009
26 posts
An Isabella Poem
The Feeling of Comfort Comfort is light blue Like the sky on a clear day And also like a day at the beach. It embraces my mind It reminds me of the crisp scent of fresh linen. It makes me feel content, like a small child with no worries It makes me want to share the feeling with everyone.
Sunday Afternoon
Good bell choir rehearsal, I was told I looked like a Creamcicle in my orange sweater. Bella came by later and said I looked like orange sherbert. Interesting, I went to the grocery store and bought some ice cream.
Friday in the home office
I’m sitting here with one foot out the door for one project and one foot in the door of the next. I’m looking at comps from the new gig and answering questions about restricted access to data for the old. Drum lessons in the afternoon, Bella here in the evening, Ma comes by tomorrow. Bell Choir rehearsal on Sunday. A busy weekend for sure
Something is changing
I’m not sure if it’s a sense of mellowing with age - or a new understanding of life in general, but I’m getting the sense of my place in the world. In that - its something like - all things don’t have to change to be acceptable to MY way of thinking - or going in MY direction. There is a pleasant understanding that lots of things are what they are and cannot be expected to dance around my own...
Lama Zopa Rinpoche, “Transforming Problems into...
Every time a problem arises, the essential thing is to immediately become aware that the problem comes from our selfish mind, that it is created by self-cherishing thoughts. As long as you put the blame outside yourself, there can be no happiness.
Bruce Lee Wisdom
1. What are you really thinking about today?
“As you think, so shall you become.”
Perhaps the most basic statement of how we work. Think about what you are thinking today. What do those thoughts say about you? About your life? And how well do they really match your plans for your life and your image of yourself?
It’s easy to forget abut this simple statement in everyday life. It’s easy to be...
Early in the morning
Back up again and at it in the same seat - kitchen table - on the computer - coffee in hand - part of me saying this has to end soon - part of me realizing that it is ending soon.
Invitation
I received an unexpected invitation to live on the temple grounds. It has been a very interesting conversation with Swami as well as an interesting thought process with me.
Funny, how it exactly corresponds to the reality of asking Darlene to move into the house here on Boucher. Regardless of the outcome - it signifies some very important things in my life. And I’m very happy, blessed and...
Me and My Bud
Mark: hey man Mark: you get the foo Matt: you mean the bar? Mark: nah Mark: fighters Matt: not really Mark: how come? Matt: nothing happens Matt: falls flat Matt: strange Mark: what? Mark: what falls flat Matt: the music Mark: can you see the page? Matt: the page? Mark: don’t like the tunes, you mean? Mark: too raucous for you Matt: its not that i don’t like it Mark: rowdy Mark:...
Went to chuch today
A very nice service. It made me think about the book I read in college - The Psychology of the Beatitudes. I don’t remember the specifics of that book, but remember its cover and author like it was yesterday.
Interesting - when you look at the word beat itudes - Hey, Jack Kerouac
Blessed are the poor in spirit….
Lama Zopa Rinpoche, “The Door To Satisfaction”
“Happiness and suffering come from your own mind, not from outside. Your own mind is the cause of happiness; your own mind is the cause of suffering. To obtain happiness and pacify suffering, you have to work within your own mind.”
Bhagavad Gita 3:25-26
“The ignorant work for their own profit, Arjuna; the wise work for the welfare of the world, without thought for themselves. By abstaining from work you will confuse the ignorant, who are engrossed in their actions. Perform all work carefully, guided by compassion.”
Homeless in Baltimore
I passed a homeless person in Baltimore - sign in hand, yesterday. I thought I should give her something, but she was across the median. I drove a bit down MLK Blvd and came to another stop. This time a homeless man, again with sign in hand. I found myself not able to look at him directly and the feeling of giving vanished. And it vanished to the point that I could not look at him. I...
Thich Nhat Hanh, “Miracle of Mindfulness
I like to walk alone on country paths, rice plants and wild grasses on both sides, putting each foot down on the earth in mindfulness, knowing that I walk on the wondrous earth. In such moments, existence is a miraculous and mysterious reality.
People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to...
The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, 1:15-16
Freedom is that triumphant state of consciousness that is beyond the influence of desire. The mind ceases to thirst for anything it has seen or heard of; even what is promised in the scriptures.
And supreme freedom is that complete liberation from the world of change that comes of knowing the unbound Self
Meeting with Adam
I just met with Adam to discuss the SOA project and history. Again, I find myself not having the words available to discuss the goals of the project. He made it clear, that as a teacher, he’s forced into objective based outcomes. What is it that I want the user to take away from the experience. I need to work on the elevator description.
Christmas Eve
Its worth a try. Ari is singing in the background. Take a load off your mind. Really nice stuff. Another holiday party, another relaxed time with Dar - being serious and then goofy in the same moment. She’s tired I take the wheel, drive a few minutes and she offers to take the wheel back. Talk about serious affection. I’m short breathed most of the time these days, afraid to say it out loud to...
Christmas Day
I’ve got Krishna Das playing on the big speakers. Hari Om. Christmas Day, waking up in an empty house is a strange thing. No outward signs of the holiday here - but that’s not to say its not recognized. Lots of things lately to stop and make me wonder. People with loving thoughts and smiles. Little kids in the back of cars, waving as they pass. Long forgotten friends commenting on my facebook...
Back from Jersey
I’m back home after a nice visit to see the family in New Jersey. A great ride up Christmas Day with the kids. Each of us tuning in and out of conversations and ipod mania. Zencasts have been my salvation these days. Tortured moments move to quiet times, realizing that I’m fighting my ego much of the time when the bad clouds roll in. Its been a real experience - everything changing on different...
One more start
Yesterday was probably the last quiet day at the office for a while. Nobody was around, I got a few things off my list and added a great many more to the list. Planning everything inside OmniFocus - transfering the GTD google doc into repeating items in OmniFocus, adding Jira tickets and next steps into there as well. We’ll see how that goes. Nobody is here today.
Dar on vacation - kids with...
January 2009
5 posts
Henry and I working on some harmony and GarageBand
WatchHanging at the farm
GarageBand
Hank did some acapella work in GarageBand tonight. I think its time to get the ederiol and some industrial strength mics in the house. O yeah - monitors and headphones as well.
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