Just more random things about life
I’m back at a desk, in the corner, working on a project that I thought I’d never see again. I’m glad to be back and certainly mad that I ever left in the first place.
“A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history.”
- Mohandas Gandhi
Often the seemingly darkest hour is “just before dawn” as you know.
You will never forsake your chosen path.The intense missing will always draw you back.
Did you know that fear works just like faith but in the opposite direction? In the same way that faith opens the door for God to work in our lives; fear opens the door for the enemy to work in our lives.
The Bible says that fear has torment. Fear has no mercy. If you act on fear instead of acting on faith, it will keep you depressed, miserable and lonely. And so many people today are missing out on God’s joy, peace, and victory because they keep giving in to fear. They feed fear by what they watch on TV or at the movies. Don’t let that be you! Romans tells us that faith comes by hearing the Word of God. The more you fill your heart and mind with God’s Word, the stronger you will be to stand against the powers of darkness. Choose faith instead of fear by choosing God’s Word.
Today was the finally rehearsal before next week’s final gig. I realized, while standing with my lonely D, that another church year had passed. I’m among friends and fellow ‘devotees’ that have been around for a long time. It was a nice feeling and one of growing older.
I had to skip out on service, to come back home and do some work, clean up for the kids afternoon arrival. I’ve been listening to new age music, working through some open source projects and playing around a bit more with the Komida project. Its interesting and Sergio is pretty excited.
I missed church service today, but found myself deep in a reflective mood most of the day. It was a slow Sunday, I’ve got so much work to do, but I just puttered the day away. Mostly finding diversions to fill my mind with thoughts of wanting to “be better” or live again. Divorce has been a terrible experience in some ways. Its not the loss of love, but the loss of what you thought you were doing all those years. It can vanish in a second and I’m finding that its taken me so long to get back to what I thought I was. I remember a trip back home when Steve Winwood’s song came on - he was singing something like “I’m the same that I used to be” or something like that. I was on a road and made a b line to a friends house and she was there. I did’nt tell her about the song or the experience that I was having at the moment. But it mattered.
Today I realized that I don’t want to travel to India. I want to go to Iceland. I dreamed about India for years - had to get there before I was 40, now I’m 45. I’m leaving it alone - its time to dream a new dream. Find a place to take somebody, not by myself. No holy man in Mysore is going to help me more than my front lawn in full bloom. Find a cheap flight - find the kids heavy boots, its Iceland, its Iceland.
Thank you, Thank you very much.
We went to Carlsons last night for Dar’s birthday. Adam, Sara, Bella, Kim, Gary, Dar and me. Of course we walked out with a dozen and of course we are now on a first name basis with July, the owner, and you have to go into the kitchen to say goodbye. It was great, I’m getting a bit timid on the heat and for the first time in my life asked for something to be ‘mild’ (Drunken Noodles) and was freaked by the heat anyway.
Tomorrow is Friday, Bella just asked. Yup. Twitter won’t index my tweets. I guess not the day to be down on twitter because of today’s denial of service attack.
Maybe I should take a bike ride.